Why we kept the Gender of our Baby a Surprise: A Pros and Cons List 

 
 

Our second baby, Kelly Rae, was welcomed into the world in late January and we had no idea of her gender until she was born. Not finding out the gender was the most beautiful surprise AND ultimate test of self-restraint. Looking back, I would go through all the anticipation again just to hear “it’s a girl” in the delivery room. These days there are few true surprises, and this was a genuine moment I will treasure forever- truly worth the wait. 

For our first son, Lane, we found out the gender during a gender reveal party, so I feel as though I’ve had the best of both worlds in getting to experience both. For anyone who is on the fence about waiting to find out the gender of their baby, here are some pros and cons I considered and experienced.  

Pros 

  • In a world of few surprises, this one is the ultimate 

  • Getting to hear your husband announce the gender 

  • Any gender specific items can be ordered and delivered within a few weeks (or with Amazon, in a few days) 

  • A fun thing to guess for friends, family and any one you meet 

  • The anticipation and excitement of getting to find out who your little one will be 

Cons 

  • Need a high level of self-restraint to tell every doctor and nurse you don’t want to know the gender even when they do 

  • Needing both a boy and girl name picked out  

  • Limited to only purchasing gender neutral clothing and accessories (this included the baby’s going home outfit where I had a neutral outfit with a bow and hat option) 

  • Having to wait to decorate the nursery or moving forward with a gender-neutral theme  

  • Felt harder to connect with the baby while pregnant without knowing the specific gender 

On a final note, as a boy mama, my biggest hesitation with waiting to find out the gender was that I would have a girl and not have the opportunity to spoil her with all the girlie pink things. Well, my hesitation has become a reality, and I can say this hasn’t been an issue at all. In one short month, I have been able to order and receive a bunch of things that I was waiting to purchase until I knew the gender (as well as receiving many girl specific gifts). I also keep reminding myself that I have her entire life to spoil her. 

I would love to hear other mamas’ stories who decided to not find out the gender until the delivery room. Do you think it was worth the wait? 

 
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