Heading Back to Work After Maternity Leave | Part 2: How I’m Preparing Myself and My Family
As the end of my maternity leave grows closer and closer, I have started to become more anxious. The adjustment of going back to work will affect not only me and my baby, but our entire family. As a hyper-organized planner, I feel a greater sense of calmness when I write down all my to-dos and make a plan for how I’m going to tackle the transition. To date, I feel so much better about my little girl starting at daycare. Although my mama heart is breaking a little to not be with her every day, I’ve done all the prep work to ensure that she will be successful, happy, and thrive at daycare. (If you are curious about my process for preparing her for daycare read my latest blog post: “Heading Back to Work After Maternity Leave | Part 1: How I’m Preparing my Baby for Daycare”). Now, my focus shifts to preparing myself and our family for this new chapter.
Preparing our Family
As my maternity leave comes to an end, I'm starting to feel the jitters. Going back to work is going to shake things up for me, my hubby, and our little ones. Our house always runs on a routine and schedule, and this is going to look different now that I’m headed back to work. Even though I'll be working from home, both kiddos are going to head to daycare every morning. This means we must have a plan. To get ready, I've made a list of five things we need to tackle to prep our family for this new normal.
Create an AM & PM Routine
Now that I’m back to work and we have to get two kiddos out the door to go to daycare, our routines are going to look totally different. My toddler would rather watch Paw Patrol than get ready in the mornings, but we've found that sticking to a consistent routine and keeping him in the know about what's coming up helps keep things moving. So, our mornings involve feeding everyone breakfast, breastfeeding the baby, getting everyone changed, and packing all the daycare essentials, including lunch for my toddler and milk for the newborn. Typically, my husband takes the kids to school and then I will pick them up. In the evenings, we have slightly more time and flexibility, but on a typical night we need to make and eat dinner and accomplish our bedtime routine with both kids.
Now that I won't be home all day, our systems are pretty similar, but we're on a tighter schedule. I can't spend the whole day fixing things that got neglected in the chaos of the previous night or morning. As we approach this new season, my husband and I have communicated on our target times for getting the kids out the door in the mornings and into bed at night. From there, we've worked backwards to create a schedule that covers all our to-dos. One thing I’m personally planning to do differently is getting up earlier than I used to with just one kid. This is so I have more time to dedicate to each of my babies in the morning before they go to school. I want to avoid having to feel rushed as I think this sets everything off on the wrong foot.
Set Your Own Pace
Heading back to work is going to be a major adjustment for my entire family, and I want to make sure we all cut ourselves some slack as we navigate our new normal. No amount of plans and routines can fully prepare us, and there's going to be some trial and error along the way. So, this time around, I'm taking a different approach and tackling my transition back to work in bite-sized pieces. If you know me, I usually go all in with 110% effort, but I truly believe that slow and steady wins the race here. For us, that means I'll be starting with a three-day workweek and then easing into it with a week where my mom comes to visit and keeps the kids home from daycare for a day or two. Even though I know getting into a groove will help everyone with the adjustment, it makes my mama heart hurt a little less to know that we aren’t going from zero to a hundred. Our family plans to take this adjustment at a slow pace making sure that we all feel good during the process and are adjusting as needed.
This time around, I’m also going to prioritize self-care. Last time, I became so obsessed with making sure my baby was prepared for the transition that I forgot about myself and ended up struggling mentally. This time around, I'm being kinder to myself, recognizing that this is going to be tough, and taking it one day at a time. As my husband always reminds me, there is no need to get ahead of myself.
Establish Consistent Sleep Schedule
I’ve already talked about establishing new routines, but because sleep is such a major deal in our family, I thought I would mention it again. We're all big sleepers, and there's a saying that goes something like, "Work, Family, and Sleep - you can only pick two." Well, for my husband and me, sacrificing sleep is not an option when life gets busier. Trust me, we're not the friendliest folks without it (and I think my toddler is the same way).
So, with this transition, we're making sleep a top priority. It's tempting to push back bedtimes when we've got so much on our plates, but in the long run, that won't do any good for anyone. Instead, everyone in our house is getting bedtimes (and wake up times) and we plan to stick to it- despite how “busy” life is about to get.
Plan and Prepare Meals in Advance
Knowing that my husband and I have to plan and make every meal for our family from now until forever hits hard. In all seriousness, feeding a family is a lot of work especially when you are trying to prioritize healthy and balanced meals. Now that I won’t be home all day, preparation and planning of meals will become essential.
For breakfast, I need to have options on hand ahead of time that I know my toddler will eat. We usually opt for granola bars, muffins, or waffles (things that can be frozen and reheated) and yogurt. In addition to breakfast, we also plan out my son’s lunch that we need to pack for daycare every day, so there is no question in the hectic morning of what to bring. Now, dinner is a whole different ballgame. My husband and I believe in the importance of having family dinners together. But with our jobs and busy lives, we can't just wing it and decide on the day-of what's for dinner. Instead, we plan out our weekly meals and make sure we have already shopped for all the ingredients. With me ending maternity leave, we won’t change much in our meal preparation and planning ways, but we will have to be that much more diligent to make sure it is all scheduled in advance.
Create a Family Calendar
My final to-do in preparation for going back to work after maternity leave is to ensure that my husband and my calendars are aligned. This is something we have already established a system around; however, when we got more relaxed about it while I was on leave, mainly because I didn’t have many events of my own. Now that I’m back to work, our family calendar (which we manage through outlook) is central to how we function as a family. We have a rule that if it’s not on the calendar, then it's not happening. For example, we often race to get our work trips on the calendar, so we can have first dibs on who is traveling which week. There are so many different calendar options and systems out there (my personal planner is my lifeline), but what matters most is that your family is aligned on how to use it.
How I Plan to Tackle Work
Being a mom means your brain is constantly pulled in a million different directions, and usually, it's all about taking care of others before yourself. For me, I’ve been hyper-focused on making sure my baby has everything she needs to start daycare and that my family is prepared for the transition of me going back to work. But, if you are anything like me, you spend so much time planning these things that when you finally sit down at your desk on that first day back, you're like, "Wait, where do I even start?"
Luckily, since I have already gone through this transition before, I have a sense of what I’m walking into and how I want to tackle these first few days back on the job. So, here's my game plan for adjusting quickly and diving right back into work.
Just to give you some context, I work as an Account Manager at a large technology company. I work from home most of the time, with occasional travel. While I do have some on-the-spot issues to handle, the majority of my job is proactive. With that in mind, my goals when I return to the office are twofold: first, I want to get caught up on what's happened since I've been away, and second, I want to get back into the groove of creating and executing my plan for continued growth.
Prioritize Calls Over Emails
I just checked; I have over 1200 emails that I’m coming back to when I start work. The first time I came back after maternity leave, this was overwhelming to me (I usually operate from an inbox with zero unread emails). But heading back to work this time around, I know not to worry about those emails or at least not prioritize them.
Here's my theory: out of those 1200 emails, I'm willing to bet that only about 20 of them will actually require some action from me. And of those 20, maybe only 10 will need more than just a quick response. My guess is that the majority of those emails are just "junk" or no longer relevant. I had an out of office response on my inbox while I was away that directed people to where they could get help if they needed it. So, chances are, most folks would have found assistance elsewhere once they realized I was unavailable.
Given this situation with my 1200 emails, I've decided to prioritize calls over catching up on emails when I return. My plan is to focus on scheduling time with my key contacts to get up to speed on where we are and what needs to be done next. My assumption, if this time is anything like the first time I came back from maternity leave, is that everything I could find sorting through those emails, I can get more quickly and efficiently through having these calls. So, instead of drowning in my inbox, I'll be dialing up my colleagues and having meaningful conversations to get back into the swing of things.
Start from the Top of your Inbox
Even if you decide to follow my first piece of advice and prioritize calls over tackling your inbox, I still suggest you do eventually go through your emails. I have heard of people who create a folder and just move every unread message to it and start over fresh. This is a solid plan, since any actions that really need your attention will find you via another email. However, I have a slightly different approach in mind—I'm actually planning to go through every single email eventually.
As I mentioned, I typically have zero unread messages and I want to make sure I do see those 10-20 emails that may still need my attention or be relevant. My approach will be to start at the top of my inbox with the most recent messages. This way I can respond to anything current and am more likely to get real-time updates. On the flip side, if you start from the bottom or with the oldest emails, you might end up falling even further behind on more pressing matters, as you won't see them until you're completely caught up.
Eventually, I will get through all 1200, but it’s not something I’m prioritizing immediately. Instead, I'll aim to tackle a set number of emails per day, gradually making my way through the pile. This way, I can maintain a reasonable pace and still give attention to other essential tasks at hand.
Establish a Routine and Clear Boundaries
Just like in my family life, having a routine is everything when it comes to work. I like to think of this as having control of my calendar. To be the most productive, I utilize time blocks throughout my day and try to stick to them to the best of my ability. This means I have designated time for projects, emails, and calls. By doing this, I can get into the groove of one task without constantly switching gears and losing momentum. Consistency with my time blocks makes me feel more productive overall.
But as a new mom of two, I also need to set some boundaries. I need to establish when I start my day, when I end it (to pick up the kiddos from daycare), and when I take breaks for lunch and pumping. By establishing these boundaries, integrating them into my calendar, and communicating them with the key stakeholders I work with, I’m able to do my best work and meet expectations.
Having these routines and boundaries in place allows me to prioritize my tasks and balance my work and family responsibilities.
Focus on What’s Most Important
As I dive back into work, there's one thing I'm determined not to do: fall back into any bad habits. You know, the unproductive cadence calls that clutter up my calendar or chasing after projects that don't really move the needle.
Instead, I’m going to follow the guidance of one of my favorite books, “The One Thing” by Gary Keller. The concept is simple but powerful: focus on what matters most. If I can identify and hone in on the one single thing that is most important and going to move the needle the most in my business, all other good aspects will follow suit.
I’m also going to try to do away with my many to-dos lists and instead create a results list. Instead of merely focusing on what I want to get done, I'm asking myself what I want to achieve. This fresh start gives me the opportunity to be my most focused, productive, and successful self.
Practice Self-Compassion and Seek Support
The final step in my game plan for tackling the return to work is all about giving myself some grace and relying on my trusted support system. Like I previously mentioned, I know that the transition back to work will be difficult in some ways. It’s hard to get back into the groove of something you have been away from for months, let alone to do it while your mama heart is missing your babies. I know that working is something that ultimately makes me feel my best, but that doesn't make this transition easy by any means.
To navigate this challenge, I'm taking a day-by-day approach and giving myself permission to be kind to myself throughout the process and not keep all my feelings in. If I’m able to openly share about the challenges of this adjustment, I know I will immediately feel better getting it off my chest.
So, there you have it—my family's preparation for my return to work and my game plan for once I'm back in the office. I hope some of my tips and advice come in handy if you're going through a similar transition. XXX, McKenzie